Okay, so everytime I think I've got things figured out, life seems to throw me another curveball. This time it's not so bad of a curveball, but it certainly makes me think of things. It makes me wonder how the very mysteries of life work.

I know of a couple who are the most perfect people I've ever met. They're the epitome of love. The epitome of the idea of high school sweethearts. They grew up together, and then fell in love, were together through high school and are still together now, four years later. These two people were voted Prom King and Queen of their class. They go dancing and he's not afraid to dance with all the girls. He sends her texts of little drawings he makes for her. Someday they're going to be married and make beautiful little babies.

I mean, these two people are perfect.

And while this makes me incredibly hopeful for the love in this world, at the same time it makes me wonder why I don't have all that. Is it because I'm not the perfect model like person she is? Is it because a girl like me, a girl who looks like me has a lot of trouble finding even one person that enjoys her presence, AND finds her attractive?

I don't know. I don't know what it is. But I am so utterly jealous of them.

And at the same time, I wish them the best of luck, because they're all I've got for hope now. They're the people I'm looking to for happy romantic stuff.

Alright. I'm out. Just...thought I'd write something on what I was thinking.

Happy 2009 folks!

So, as I was waiting for the ball to drop last night, I was thinking over something rather curious. Why is it custom to kiss someone as soon as midnight strikes? Where on Earth did this tradition start and what is the logic behind it? I mean, nobody seems to question it. At huge parties, people will even kiss total strangers at midnight because that's what they're supposed to do. What if that stranger had some kind of disease? How do you know what that person had done with that mouth somewhere during the course of the night? What if they had herpes?! Eeew, herpes!

I guess it really only applies to those who really really care about it. I mean, when you're young you don't even realize that that's what happens at midnight. When you're young, all you care about is the fact that you get to stay up til midnight, and from the moment your party starts, it's a race til the first person falls asleep. But when kissing, and relationships enter your life, you're suddenly aware of the fact that there are actually customs that allow you to kiss complete strangers. And you like it! Because, who are we kidding, kissing is amazing. The only time we really have a problem with this custom, is when we don't have someone to kiss at midnight. It goes the same for mistletoe at Christmas. Those who are too young to understand, don't really pay attention to the custom of kissing under the bundle of weeds, while those who are part of a pair seek out the opportunity to kiss their partner in front of all in what is considered a cute and romantic tradition. At the same time, those who are of age, but don't have someone to kiss beneath the mistletoe, scorn the tradition and find it meaningless. In fact, they almost loathe it.

It's interesting how humans work, and how we turn simple acts of affection into traditions. Do we really need another excuse to show our love for each other? I mean, is this just another way for us to ignore the hate and war that's going on over in the middle east. In any other country. We can fight and kill and lose thousands of our own soldiers, (all of which are parents,  husbands/wives, daughters/sons...) but if you show a little love at the beginning of the new year, yes, that makes up for everything.

Why is it we can't show love in other ways? I mean, why do we have to come up with excuses to show affection for someone. I mean, don't get me wrong, I absolutely loathe it when couples are full on making out in front of everyone in the middle of school hallways, but there are other ways...other ways we can show affection for each other.

Hold someone's hand, whether they be a friend or lover. Holding their hand shows that there's someone there for them, someone who cares enough to show that they're not going to have to go through the following minutes alone. Potentially showing them that they don't ever have to be alone. The smallest squeeze of the hand could mean the world to a single person.

Smile at a stranger. In some countries, this immediately means that you're interested in them. True story, my middle school French teacher was followed all the way to an airport because she had smiled at a handsome man, who immediately thought she liked him. But, a smile at a stranger gives them a strange feeling of recognition. You never know what that stranger is going through. What if they'd been contemplating suicide, because they thought that they were invisible? They thought nobody ever noticed them? That smile could help them realize that they're not invisible; that there are people out there who do pay attention, who do realize that they exist.

Even the smallest person can make a difference.

I know, I've strayed from the idea of a New Year's Eve kiss, but it's funny how everything kind of ties in. I guess, at the same time, that kiss could be a good normal form of expressing love. I mean, you don't have to kiss a lover. You could kiss a friend. You could kiss a family member. Or you could kiss a stranger. And that stranger's year could be made, because they spent the first moments of the year locking lips with you.

And hey, you never know who you're locking lips with really. Maybe instead of giving you Herpes, they're giving you their heart. New Year's could not only be the beginning of, well, a new year, but a beautiful friendship. For more information...see the final scene in When Harry Met Sally. A personal favorite of mine, and an ending I would like to see in my own world.

Well...I guess I oughta run. I've written quite a bit, and I know it's all over the place, but that's just how my mind works. I hope you enjoyed.

So, I've discovered something rather interesting today. I didn't start thinking about it today, but someone brought up a new aspect of it that I wanted to discuss. We've come to accept the reality that is presented to us, however, at the same time, we deny the very reality we seek over and over again.

For instance, when looking for the actual trick in a magic trick, as described in The Prestige (excellent movie, I must say), people do whatever they can to figure out how the trick is being performed, when in all actuality, they don't wanna know how it's done. They want to be mystified. They want to believe in the magic that's not actually there.

As I've described recently to a few people, it's the same with song lyrics. Song writers have a way of creating incredible situations that everyone seems to want to be in, no matter how sad or happy they may be. And the listener wants more than anything to believe that they're the one that the song is about, even fantasize about it being about them or the songwriter/singer singing it to them...but in the end, even if they ask, they don't actually want to know who it's about, because if it works out the opposite of what they thought, their dreams are crushed...and nobody wants that.

So in short...nobody really wants reality. I mean, really. You say you want the truth about how someone feels about a situation, but what happens when what they say isn't what you want to hear.

Chaos.

Perhaps not literally, but mentally. Your mind reels and your emotions become some intense rollercoaster none of us actually want to ride, because we're too scared.

We're scared of the truth.

In fact, in the words of Jack Nicholson....you can't handle the truth.